An imaginary message from Mark Zuckerberg

An imaginary message from Zuckerberg:

Dear Users,

Before wasting your limited time on rethinking & overthinking about people who attack you personally on Facebook, you can kindly try two of our features created by my team only for you: Unfriend & Block. NEVER wait to block! It's fun to get rid of unwanted people. Try it! You'll also do them a great favour by making them completely free of you. Don't wait longer to see hostile people turn friendly if you really don't need to wait. Who are you to teach them the great art of friendship? Everyone is smart enough in their own style. Learn who are important, who are not. How to detect a wrong person for you? OK, a simple tip for you. The person whose company makes you feel low is never the right person to stay with. People whom you really need to care for are the people who care for you. Even do fuck a Harvard graduate, if they fuck you. Your life, your choices, your returns. As you can't be a Jesus Christ, be who the hell you're. Just be original.

In our childhood we learnt how to kick a football. When we grow up, we must learn how to kick out unnecessary people. This essential life skill separates boys from men, girls from ladies---kids from grown-ups.

You never need all people around in your life. The fewer people, the less mess, the more peace. Don't give your precious time to people who really don't deserve it. The fewer people you manage to share your time with, the more you manage to share your time with yourself. You've to find out people who are just harmfully jealous of you. People who are always there for you only when they've anything bad to say about you are the people you should decide not keep close to. Not always you're just bad enough to hear only the bad remarks about yourself. People who can never appreciate, have no right to make you learn the things a schoolboy learns. Some people can never appreciate. Never expect anything good to pass through yourself staying close to them. Say them, " Now, it's enough! Goodbye my friend. I don't want to keep you waiting until the next time you get tired looking for another chance to make another bad remarks about me." Never let anyone tell bad things about you who never tells good things about you. No one on earth can be good forever. No one on earth can be bad forever either. Who only depreciates, never appreciates, can NEVER be you well-wisher.

It's never too late to start feeling good about yourself. Take charge of your own happiness.

Happy Facebooking!!

Best wishes
Mark Zuckerberg

Disclaimer. Zuckerberg has never such fucking time to waste for writing such a fucking BIG message for fucking people like us.

বারবার পড়ে গেলেও, বারবার উঠে দাঁড়াও

বেয়ার গ্রিলস দুঃসাহসী এক অভিযাত্রীর নাম। ডিসকভারি চ্যানেলের ম্যান ভার্সেস ওয়াইল্ড অনুষ্ঠানের সঞ্চালক হিসেবেই তিনি বহুল পরিচিত। যুক্তরাজ্যে তিনি সবচেয়ে কম বয়সে প্রধান স্কাউট স্বীকৃতি পেয়েছেন। যুক্তরাষ্ট্রের জিকিউসাময়িকীতে তিনি লিখেছেন, কীভাবে বাঁধা পেরোতে হয়
আমার মনে আছে, তখন আমি বেশ ছোট। প্রচণ্ড শীতের সকালে বাবা আমাকে সমুদ্রের পাড়ে ঘোড়ায় চড়াতে নিয়ে গেলেন। প্রথমে আমাদের ঘোড়া খানিকটা দুলকি চালে হাঁটল, এরপর একসময় দৌঁড়াতে শুরু করল। ঘোড়ার গতির কারণে আমি কিছুক্ষণ পরপর ঘোড়ায় বাঁধা বসার আসন থেকে শূন্যে উঠে যাচ্ছিলাম। বেশ লাগছিল। মনে হচ্ছিল আমি উড়ছি। কিন্তু হঠাৎ কিছু বুঝে ওঠার আগেই আমি নিজেকে ঠাণ্ডা, নরম বালুর মধ্যে আবিষ্কার করলাম। বাবা মুখে বড় একটা হাসির রেখা টেনে হাততালি দিতে দিতে আমার কাছে এগিয়ে এলেন। বললেন, ‘তুমি কতটা ভালো অশ্বারোহী, সেটা মূল কথা নয়। বরং কতবার পড়ে গিয়ে তুমি কতবার আবার ঘোড়ার পিঠে উঠে বসেছ, সে সংখ্যাটাই বড়। অশ্বারোহন আর জীবন—দুটো ক্ষেত্রেই এটা তোমার কাজে আসবে।’
বাবা সেদিন আমাকে জীবনের মূল মন্ত্রটাই ধরিয়ে দিয়েছিলেন। তিনি জানতেন, যদি কেউ প্রথম একটা কিছু শুরু করে, তবে কাজের কোনো এক মোড়ে এসে সে ওই নরম বালুতে নিজেকে আবিষ্কার করবেই। এটাকে বরং সুলক্ষণ হিসেবেই ধরে নেওয়া উচিত। অর্থাৎ তুমি যা করছ, তা নিশ্চয়ই অনেক বড় কিছু। কেননা, একটা সহজ পথ তোমাকে কখনো বড় কিংবা চমকপ্রদ কিছুর কাছে নিয়ে যাবে না। বরং একটা ভয়ানক পথই অনেক অসাধারণ কিছু উপহার দিতে পারে। তাই আমাদের যোগ্যতা এটাই যে আমরা বারবার পড়ে গিয়েও আবার নতুন করে শুরু করলাম। যেমনটা ঘোড়ায় চড়তে গিয়ে আমরা করে থাকি। জীবনটাও অশ্বারোহনের মতোই।
আমি অনেকটা সময় যুক্তরাজ্যের স্পেশাল এয়ার সার্ভিসের প্রশিক্ষণ নিয়েছি। সেখানে গিয়ে দেখলাম কাজটা মোটেও সহজ নয়। বরং আমার দেখা সবচেয়ে কঠিন কাজ ছিল এটি। মাসের পর মাস প্রশিক্ষণ নেওয়ার পর যখন কেউ তোমাকে জানাবে, তুমি আসলে তাদের যোগ্য হয়ে উঠতে পারছ না, তখন এটা খুবই মর্মাহত করবে। তখন দুটো উপায় ছিল, প্রশিক্ষণটা ছেড়ে দেওয়া কিংবা সেই নরম বালু থেকে উঠে দাঁড়ানো।
মনে করতে পার যেটা হচ্ছে না সেটা ছেড়ে দেওয়া ভালো। বেশির ভাগ সচেতন মানুষ তাই-ই করবে। কিন্তু আমি আবার নরম বালুর ওপর ভর করে উঠে দাঁড়ালাম। আমি দৃঢ়প্রতিজ্ঞ ছিলাম—আমি নিজেকে যোগ্য করে তুলব। যদিও অনেকটা সময় লেগেছিল আমার। কিন্তু আমি পেরেছিলাম। এবং সেদিন আমি আরেকটি বিষয় জানতে পেরেছিলাম, সব সময় শক্তি কিংবা তোমার সামর্থ্য কতটুকু, সেটাই যথেষ্ট নয়। বরং তোমার মনে কতটুকু বিশ্বাস আছে, তাও জরুরি। নিজেকে জিজ্ঞেস করো, বারবার পড়ে যাওয়ার পরও কি তুমি উঠে দাঁড়াবে? বারবার?
হাল ছেড়ো না। কেননা, একেকটি ব্যর্থতা নতুন সাফল্যের কাছে এগিয়ে যাওয়ার একেকটি ধাপ। কারণ, যখন তুমি হাল ছেড়ে দেবে, তখনই তোমার কাঙ্খিত জিনিসটি তুমি হারাবে। এবং ঠিক তখনই তুমি হেরে গেলে। তুমি যদি কিছু চালিয়ে যাও, সেটাতে আর যা-ই হোক, একটা ফল পাবেই।
উইনস্টন চার্চিল বলেছিলেন, ‘সাফল্যের যোগ্যতা হচ্ছে একটি ব্যর্থতা থেকে আরেকটি ব্যর্থতার কাছে ধরা দেওয়া, কিন্তু একই রকম উদ্যম নিয়ে।’ আমি যখন ফিরে তাকাই, তখন আমি অসংখ্য ভুল দেখতে পাই। একই সঙ্গে অনেক অর্জনও চোখে পড়ে। পৃথিবীতে অনেকে আছে, যারা তোমার সমালোচনা করবে। নতুন ব্যবসা শুরু করা, ম্যারাথনে অংশ নেওয়া কিংবা পদোন্নতি—যা-ই হোক না কেন। তোমাকে অবশ্যই বাঁধার সম্মুখীন হতে হবে। এবং সেখান থেকেই স্বপ্নটাকে ছিনিয়ে আনতে হবে।
তাই বলি, লেগে থাকো। মনে রেখ, কেউই বাঁধা ছাড়া কিছু করতে পারেনি। বড় কিছু করতে হলে অবশ্যই অনেক বাজে কিছুর মধ্য দিয়েই যেতে হবে। তবে যখন তুমি কিছু অর্জন করবে, তখন কেউ সেই বাঁধার কথা জানবে না। শুধু জানবে, তোমার কথা। তোমার অর্জনের কথা। তুমি পড়ে যাবে; আবার উঠে দাঁড়াবে। যেমনটি চার্চিল বলেছিলেন, ‘তুমি যখন সবচেয়ে বাজে মুহূর্তের মধ্য দিয়ে যাচ্ছ, তখনও থেমো না। চলতে থাকো।’
সব শেষে বলতে চাই, তুমি অবশ্যই অনেক ভালো কিছু পাবে যদি তুমি চেষ্টা করো। পড়ে যাও, আবার উঠে দাঁড়াও এবং চলতে থাকো। কিছু না কিছু তোমার জন্য থাকবেই। অনেকে তোমার স্বপ্ন চুরি করতে চাইবে। বলবে তুমি নির্বোধ। অহেতুক ছুটছ। কিন্তু তুমি পার্থক্যটা টের পাবে, যখন তুমি তোমার স্বপ্নচূড়ায় উঠে দাঁড়াবে। বিশ্বাস করো, স্বপ্নের চূড়ায় উঠে দাঁড়ানোর অনুভূতিটা অসাধারণ!

Life Changing Quotes By Jack Ma That'll Change Your Life, I've No Word L...

60 Simple Ways to Find Happiness Every Day

Here are some prescriptions for the life you always wanted to live.

TECHNIQUES SO YOU CAN BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF.

1. Change one of your faults.
2. Don't harbor a grudge.
3. Write three things you love about yourself.
4. Quiet your mind before starting your day (think meditation or mindfulness).
5. Release the past and appreciate the present.

Techniques to help you seek meaning and purpose to have a happy life.

1. Practice a random act of kindness every day.
2. Make a ten-point list of what's really important to you.
3. Create a new tradition with your family.
4. Write a mission statement for your life. 
5. Call your favorite charity and offer to help.

Techniques to attract and build happy [romantic] relationships.

1. Think of three topics to begin a conversation.
2. Take your lover to the best B&B you can afford.
3. Write "I love you" on a note and tuck it under your partner's pillow.
4. Serve your spouse or partner a candlelight supper in bed.
5. Be the kind of friend you want to attract.

Techniques to build a strong and happy family.

1. Learn how to be a better parent.
2. Lavishly praise behavior you want repeated.
3. Schedule a family meeting each week to air grievances.
4. Create a multigenerational scrapbook detailing your family history.
5. Ask each child to make up a new game for the family to play.

Techniques to take the healthy path to happiness.

1. Plant a vegetable garden and eat the produce.
2. Avoid exposure to toxic chemicals.
3. Give up smoking.
4. Do physical exercises in the park on sunny days on weekends.
5. Go on vacation every year.

Techniques to put your career path on a happy track.

1. Ask a favorite boss or someone you admire to mentor you.
2. Think of two reasons you haven't moved forward in your job.
3. Create a chart to outline the steps of your career.
4. Brainstorm three ways to be happier at work. Then follow-through.
5. Safeguard your professional relationships.

Techniques to be happy on the road.

1. Taste at least one new food or beverage.
2. Help a traveler in distress.
3. Buy a bus ticket for a quick local tour.
4. Invite a fellow traveler for dinner at a local caf.
5. Generously tip hotel, motel, and B&B housekeepers.

Techniques to promote happiness in the workplace.

1. Show up on time and prepared for meetings.
2. Speak the truth for a whole day--no fibs allowed.
3. Single out one coworker each week for praise.
4. Think of three tasks someone else could do and delegate them.
5. Schedule moments of relaxation during the workday.
6. Ask your boss for a special assignment.
7. Choose a date to ask for a promotion.

Techniques to lead others to happiness.

1. Keep your promises to others.
2. Refuse to engage in malicious gossip.
3. Inspire a negative person to think positively.
4. Ask someone to tell you her purpose in life.
5. Tell a story to inspire someone who is feeling down.

Techniques to stay happy when dealing with adversaries.

1. Ask competitors or adversaries to name their issues (don't assume).
2. Ensure that you understand your adversary's position.
3. Find common ground on one or more points.
4. Ask for three specific ideas to resolve the conflict.
5. Walk away if that's your only option.

Techniques to discover ways to spread happiness in the world.

1. Think of three things you can do to make the world a better place.
2. Sing, teach a class, or give a talk at a senior citizen center.
3. Create a happiness blog on your website.
4. Volunteer cook at a children's summer camp.
5. Fight for international justice.
6. Ask five colleagues to help you sponsor a single mom's education.
7. List three things you can do to help a homeless veteran.
8. Spread happiness through e-mail.

How To Be Funny Even When You Think You’re Not

Here’s how to be funny even when you think you’re not.

Be true to yourself.

You may appreciate slapstick humor or off-color jokes, but if you are uncomfortable clowning around or being suggestive, then your humor will seem inauthentic and forced.

Your comfort level with various types of humor may expand over time, but begin stretching your humor muscle in the direction that feels the most “you.”

If you are more introverted or quiet, begin with more subtle forms of humor like dry wit or fun wordplay. If something funny happened during your day, tell the story to others in your own words, building up to the funny moment and creating anticipation with your audience.

Sometimes the those who are more subtle and quiet can surprise their listeners with their unexpected wit and humorous observations.

Know your audience.

There’s nothing worse than wasting a great joke on the wrong audience. What is hysterical to one person may be deeply offensive to another.

Telling a dirty joke at the church social might not be the best idea. Being sarcastic with someone who is literal or insecure can be hurtful and off-putting.

Before you attempt to entertain with your latest joke or funny story, get a feel for the people or person you’re socializing with. If you are just meeting these people or don’t know them well, stick with safer, more subtle humor until you’re confident they will appreciate your real zingers.

Timing is everything.

Says author Joshua Harris, “The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.” Nothing could be more true than with humor.

A funny story told at a funeral becomes an awkward moment. A rushed punchline becomes a lost opportunity for a good laugh. A joke shared in a noisy bar gets diluted in the din of chatter and music.

Good timing is more than waiting for the right moment. There are nuances to timing that can make a funny situation or story downright hysterical.

“You can magnify a funny line by using the pause to accentuate your physical delivery,” says writer John Kande in an article for Toastmasters. “For example, you might raise your eyebrows. Sometimes the pause can be used to do a ‘take’ — a physical reaction to the situation. Johnny Carson and Jack Benny were masters of a slow take or glance to the right or left to make a line even funnier. Some stand-up comics pause to extend the laughter by making a slow, sweeping eye contact with the audience, from one side of the room to the other.”

Choosing the best moment to you share your humor, pacing your delivery, and using facial expressions at the right time can mean the difference between a few awkward chuckles and full-on belly laughter.

Be a keen observer.

Start paying more attention to the humor and absurdities of life. Notice how people interact and talk. Pay attention to the crazy stories going on in the news and world affairs.

Look for the humorous, bitter truths or common pitfalls in the areas of life where you most often find them: money, sex, politics, marriage, family, and the human condition.

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld is a master of noticing the humor in the ordinary, beginning many of his jokes with, “What’s the deal with . . . .”

He zooms in on some of the most mundane aspects of life, finds the commonality we all experience, and points out the obvious but absurd aspects of it. Then he presents it with a deadpan tone of voice and expression that somehow makes it even funnier.

If you find something strange, non-sensical, or ridiculous, it’s likely others will too. Begin to notice some of these humorous subtitles of life and practice sharing them with an appreciative audience.

Watch comedy and comedians.

If you want to improve on anything, study those who are already successful at it — and that includes comedy. You can easily follow a variety of comedians on YouTube, other social media, and television. Pay attention to what makes you laugh and dissect why it was funny.

Was it the subject matter, the context, the presentation, the style of humor? Why did it tickle your funny bone, and how can you emulate it while still making it your own?

Look for comedians whose style and demeanor reflects your personality and sense of humor. This goes back to being authentic with your wit. Then build off of what you observe and develop your own style.

Be able to laugh at yourself.

A few weeks ago, I was at a concert and had to use the restroom. After leaving the stall to wash my hands, a woman tapped my shoulder and said, “Honey, you don’t want to go back out there like that. Your butt’s hanging out.” A corner of my dress was tucked into my underwear, revealing my backside.

Of course it was totally embarrassing, and fortunately someone was kind enough to tell me before I further humiliated myself in front of hundreds of people rather than a handful of women.

Since I love a great story and appreciated the humor in my situation, I was quick to share my butt reveal moment with my friends. We all had a good laugh, and my freedom in sharing the story allowed others in the group to relate similar embarrassing but funny stories.

The ability to laugh at your own foibles and flaws with confidence is a hugely attractive quality. Being self-deprecating with your humor doesn’t mean you are pitiful or insecure. It means you can share in the humor of the human condition which is inherently flawed and absurd at times.

Practice and refine.

Humor, like anything else, gets better with practice. As you test out some of these strategies, notice what works and what doesn’t. Start with a “safe” audience of family members or close friends with whom you can bomb and not completely lose your dignity.

Practice enough that telling the story or joke becomes second nature. You don’t want to stumble to remember parts of it or screw up the punchline.

Refine the humorous stories or comments by changing up your timing and delivery style, using facial expressions, or expanding the set-up to build anticipation.

With practice, you’ll master your own style of humor and delivery that is uniquely your own.

There are plenty of great reasons to practice being funny. Being funny makes you more interesting and entertaining. It boosts your powers of observation and creativity.  It makes you more confident on social settings. It also reduces stress and improves your state of mind.

To be funny is to invite others to share in your inner world in a safe and happy way. A creates a connection that few other human attributes afford. “I love people who make me laugh,” says actress Audrey Hepburn. “I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.”

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10 Reasons Why Friendliness Is A Leadership Necessity

10 Reasons Why Friendliness Is A Leadership Necessity

We've heard it many times, "It's a dog eat dog world." The trouble is, some leaders actually believe it. They conduct themselves like the alpha dog in a pack, holding sway through intimidation. This instinctive behavior helps insure survival in a dog world, but applied to the human world of organizational dynamics, it can lead to disaster.

Alpha dog leadership can eventually turn out to be destructive to the people, their organization, and the leaders themselves. To use another common metaphor, "That dog won't hunt."

After all, leaders do nothing more important than get results; and the best results are what I've been teaching for more than two decades, "more results faster, continually." An alpha-dog leader might chew up people to get more results and get them faster, but I submit that it takes a far different personality trait to engender the "continually" aspect of the imperative. That trait isn't the despot modeled by so many leaders, it's ... well, friendliness.

Having a friendly attitude as a leader means eschewing the alpha-dog way of leadership. It means being gentle, kind, helpful, and cordial in your relationships, even in times of anger and stress -- ESPECIALLY in times of anger and stress. Here are 10 reasons friendliness gets far more results than an alpha-dog way.

(1) We stay in control. Apha-dog leaders seek to control others. But they misconstrue what control really means. In truth, such leaders are really out of control much of the time, since they're at the mercy of their emotional outbursts and the reactions of others to those outbursts. In leadership, the best way to control a situation, i.e., the best way to get great results, is to put the people in control. Don't constrain them through short-term compulsion but liberate them by playing the "longer game." Unleash their initiative and creativity by allowing them to make free choices, and they will be under your "control" in more profound and effective ways than the alpha-dog leader could imagine.

(2) People respond more openly and positively to friendliness. Humans seek happiness; and friendliness is a great way to spread happiness. It enables you to communicate much more effectively because it bonds you with others in ways that anger, coercion, intimidation can't. And that bonding is the stuff that great results flow from.

(3) We are modeling good interactions, bringing the future into the present. Whether leaders know it or not, their words and actions are carefully watched by the people they lead. People have an instinctive need to model those words and actions; or if they disagree with them, speak and act in opposite ways. By radiating friendliness, leaders are being the means that are the ends in the making.

(4) We make real issues relevant factors, not false issues like anger and intimidation. Friendliness tends to clarify issues; intimidation, because it is associated with fear, obfuscates them. So often intimidating leaders make themselves and their tormenting ways the issue. Whereas the real issues should be, how do we get results, how do we get more results, how do we get faster results, and how do we get "more, faster" continually? The fear they provoke is like crack cocaine, temporarily stimulating but addictive and in the long run destructive to the leader and the people.

(5) With friendliness, we set the agenda. "A good offense is the best defense" applies with friendliness. You should be on the offense with friendliness, displaying it even in challenging circumstances when it may take an act of disciplined courage on your part. This helps you set the agenda in terms of how people respond to one another in these circumstances. Of course, your friendliness will not affect some people who may be determined to subvert your leadership no matter what your attitude is; however, friendliness can, like the clearing of brush-lines to contain a forest fire, keep rancor from spreading deeply into the organization.

(6) We increase the chance that others will support our cause. The truth is that leaders can't motivate anybody to do anything. The people make the choice to be motivated or not. Friendly leaders have the best chance of creating an environment in which the people make that choice. As Abraham Lincoln said, "If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart, which, say what he will, is the great highroad to his reason, and which, once gained, you will find but little trouble in convincing him of the justice of your cause, if indeed that cause is really a good one."

(7) Our opponents can be put off balance. As a leader, you'll often have people working against you, spoiling for a fight; and when they encounter a friendly attitude on your part, they may be thrown off balance in benignly effective ways. Furthermore, your friendliness can encourage others to take up your cause against them.

(8) With friendliness everybody has an opportunity to win. Unfriendly leaders often win battles but lose wars. They may compel others to get on board; but if those others do so out of compulsion and not genuine conviction and motivation, the fruits of any victories can become ashes. Most people welcome friendliness -- even if they disagree with and even dislike the leader. Furthermore, our friendliness can prompt the people we interact with to reflect on their own character, a prerequisite for their choosing to be motivated. In an environment of friendliness, all parties have an opportunity to achieve something positive.

(9)Friendliness is fire prevention equipment against your burning bridges behind you. An opponent may seem to be your opponent today but in the future you may need him to be your partner in implementing changes. Friendliness gives us an opportunity to have productive relationships even with those who oppose us, enriching both the present and the future.

(10) Getting results through friendliness can take a lot less energy than getting results through coercion and intimidation. Friendliness isn't an absolute necessity in leadership. I've seen great leaders who were terrific curmudgeons. It's just that unfriendly people have to go through a lot more trouble getting people motivated.

Two caveats. One, friendliness can be mistaken for weakness. In fact, friendliness can BE weakness if it manifests as a way of avoiding challenging people to do the hard things to get great results. In leadership, friendliness has a clear function which is to people achieve constantly improving results. This entails your challenging people to do what they often don't want to do. Anybody can be nice to them and let them do what they want. But a leader must continually be challenging people to struggle mightily for extraordinary results. If friendliness doesn't help you fulfill that function then it's simply a lifestyle choice, not a leadership tool, and ultimately in terms of leadership, a weakness.

Two, even if you do use it as a strong leadership tool, you certainly can't be friendly 100 percent of the time. If you try to be, you'll find yourself becoming a rather one-dimensional leader. One of the most difficult accomplishments facing any leader is simply being who you really are – especially under pressure. To force-fit friendliness in a situation where you might not ordinarily exhibit it or to use friendliness to manipulate people into conforming to your wishes is not the best leadership uses of friendliness.

It may be a dog-eat-dog world; but by progressing in the Way of friendliness, leaders can invest their lives and this world with moments of beauty and meaning -- and get more results in the bargain.

Be A Leader Not A Follower

Be A Leader Not A Follower

Most people in life are happy to follow the lead of other people, to sit on the fence in a debate or have the attitude of hiding at the back of the class. The most successful people are leaders and make things happen for themselves by taking a positive attitude and through working very hard to reach their goals. We are all able to become leaders and this article may help you to achieve this status.

I grew up as a very nervous person, who had very little self-confidence and who was very shy. I was not happy being this way and often felt jealous of other people who were happy to speak up and take control of tasks and situations. I wanted to be one of these leaders and not the follower that I certainly had become.

In my early twenties, I decided that the time had arrived to make a series of life changing decisions. I was determined to have a happy and successful life and was aware that I needed to change my whole attitude and approach to life.

I was not happy at where I worked and joined an employment agency in an attempt to find alternative employment. In the reception area of the agency, I started speaking to a man who was also their hoping to find a different job. His name was Mark and we got on well and wished each other the best of luck in our quest to find work. We even exchanged phone numbers and vowed to keep each other up to date with our progress.

I was then interviewed by a man who explained his plan to help me to find this new role of work. He was very bright, clever and positive and had many interesting ideas. He seemed very confident that I would soon be employed for a different company more suited to the skills which I had.

At one stage of the meeting he described the scenario of a group interview. He suggested that we may be ushered into a large room with a big table. As we sat down there would be a sheet of paper asking the group to debate a particular subject. He stated that all of the people in the room would be in the same position, all looking for work, all nervous, however that in that room I could be whoever I wanted to be. He said that I needed to stand up and take the lead by stating that I would act as chairman and that if anyone had a comment that they wanted to make, that they could raise their hand. If I did this I would show my prospective employer that I was a leader.

I went home and thought about this and did not believe I had it in me to act in the way that he wanted me to, as I was not a leader. Later that evening Mark phoned and all he was talking about was the group interview scenario. He also stated that there was no way that he would be able to stand up either in the way that had been described.

I did not have to ever attend a group interview, but Mark did. He surprised himself by carrying out the advice and stated that after he had said his initial statement about being the chairman, that he had never felt so powerful and in control. For the rest of the day other members of the group had been regularly asking him questions as if he was some sort of team leader. He was very proud of himself and I am happy to report that he was successful at that interview and is very happy in his new position.

He has also taken the success and learning experience into his social life and states that he has never had a higher self-esteem. I am very pleased for him as he is a genuine person who works very hard. He is also one of only a few friends that I can honestly say that I trust.

I have taken inspiration from Mark and have entered into a career of helping people who stutter, to achieve fluency. This is something which I really enjoy and which gives me a large amount of job satisfaction. I am also far more confident than I ever have been and have at last found happiness.

In conclusion we all have it in us to be a leader. We need to be brave and determined to take control and remember that all we can do in life is to try our best. We are only sure about living one life, so lets be happy and not accept second best. Be a leader in life, not a follower.

Awaken The Leader In You: 10 Easy Steps To Developing Your Leadership Skills

Leadership

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Awaken The Leader In You: 10 Easy Steps To Developing Your Leadership Skills

"The miracle power that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance, under the promptings of a brave determined spirit." - Mark Twain

Many motivational experts like to say that leaders are made, not born. I would argue the exact opposite. I believe we are all natural born leaders, but have been deprogrammed along the way. As children, we were natural leaders - curious and humble, always hungry and thirsty for knowledge, with an incredibly vivid imagination; we knew exactly what we wanted, were persistent and determined in getting what we wanted, and had the ability to motivate, inspire, and influence everyone around us to help us in accomplishing our mission. So why is this so difficult to do as adults? What happened?

As children, over time, we got used to hearing, No, Don't, and Can't. No! Don't do this. Don't do that. You can't do this. You can't do that. No! Many of our parents told us to keep quiet and not disturb the adults by asking silly questions. This pattern continued into high school with our teachers telling us what we could do and couldn't do and what was possible. Then many of us got hit with the big one institutionalized formal education known as college or university. Unfortunately, the traditional educational system doesn't teach students how to become leaders; it teaches students how to become polite order takers for the corporate world. Instead of learning to become creative, independent, self-reliant, and think for themselves, most people learn how to obey and intelligently follow rules to keep the corporate machine humming.

Developing the Leader in you to live your highest life, then, requires a process of unlearning by self-remembering and self-honoring. Being an effective leader again will require you to be brave and unlock the door to your inner attic, where your childhood dreams lie, going inside to the heart. Based on my over ten years research in the area of human development and leadership, here are ten easy steps you can take to awaken the Leader in you and rekindle your passion for greatness.

1. Humility. Leadership starts with humility. To be a highly successful leader, you must first humble yourself like a little child and be willing to serve others. Nobody wants to follow someone who is arrogant. Be humble as a child, always curious, always hungry and thirsty for knowledge. For what is excellence but knowledge plus knowledge plus knowledge - always wanting to better yourself, always improving, always growing. When you are humble, you become genuinely interested in people because you want to learn from them. And because you want to learn and grow, you will be a far more effective listener, which is the #1 leadership communication tool. When people sense you are genuinely interested in them, and listening to them, they will naturally be interested in you and listen to what you have to say.

2. SWOT Yourself. SWOT is an acronym for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. Although it's a strategic management tool taught at Stanford and Harvard Business Schools and used by large multinationals, it can just as effectively be used in your own professional development as a leader. This is a useful key to gain access to self-knowledge, self-remembering, and self-honoring. Start by listing all your Strengths including your accomplishments. Then write down all your Weaknesses and what needs to be improved. Make sure to include any doubts, anxieties, fears, and worries that you may have. These are the demons and dragons guarding the door to your inner attic. By bringing them to conscious awareness you can begin to slay them. Then proceed by listing all the Opportunities you see available to you for using your strengths. Finally, write down all the Threats or obstacles that are currently blocking you or that you think you will encounter along the way to achieving your dreams.

3. Follow Your Bliss. Regardless of how busy you are, always take time to do what you love doing. Being an alive and vital person vitalizes others. When you are pursuing your passions, people around you cannot help but feel impassioned by your presence. This will make you a charismatic leader. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing, be it writing, acting, painting, drawing, photography, sports, reading, dancing, networking, or working on entrepreneurial ventures, set aside time every week, ideally two or three hours a day, to pursue these activities. Believe me, you'll find the time. If you were to video tape yourself for a day, you would be shocked to see how much time goes to waste!

4. Dream Big. If you want to be larger than life, you need a dream that's larger than life. Small dreams won't serve you or anyone else. It takes the same amount of time to dream small than it does to dream big. So be Big and be Bold! Write down your One Biggest Dream. The one that excites you the most. Remember, don't be small and realistic; be bold and unrealistic! Go for the Gold, the Pulitzer, the Nobel, the Oscar, the highest you can possibly achieve in your field. After you ve written down your dream, list every single reason why you CAN achieve your dream instead of worrying about why you can't.

5. Vision. Without a vision, we perish. If you can't see yourself winning that award and feel the tears of triumph streaming down your face, it's unlikely you will be able to lead yourself or others to victory. Visualize what it would be like accomplishing your dream. See it, smell it, taste it, hear it, feel it in your gut.

6. Perseverance. Victory belongs to those who want it the most and stay in it the longest. Now that you have a dream, make sure you take consistent action every day. I recommend doing at least 5 things every day that will move you closer to your dream.

7. Honor Your Word. Every time you break your word, you lose power. Successful leaders keep their word and their promises. You can accumulate all the toys and riches in the world, but you only have one reputation in life. Your word is gold. Honor it.

8. Get a Mentor. Find yourself a mentor. Preferably someone who has already achieved a high degree of success in your field. Don't be afraid to ask. You've got nothing to lose. Mentors.ca is an excellent mentoring website and a great resource for finding local mentoring programs. They even have a free personal profile you can fill out in order to potentially find you a suitable mentor. In addition to mentors, take time to study autobiographies of great leaders that you admire. Learn everything you can from their lives and model some of their successful behaviors.

9. Be Yourself. Use your relationships with mentors and your research on great leaders as models or reference points to work from, but never copy or imitate them like a parrot. Everyone has vastly different leadership styles. History books are filled with leaders who are soft-spoken, introverted, and quiet, all the way to the other extreme of being out- spoken, extroverted, and loud, and everything in between. A quiet and simple Gandhi or a soft-spoken peanut farmer named Jimmy Carter, who became president of the United States and won a Nobel Peace Prize, have been just as effective world leaders as a loud and flamboyant Churchill, or the tough leadership style employed by The Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher. I admire Hemingway as a writer. But if I copy Hemingway, I'd be a second or third rate Hemingway, at best, instead of a first rate Sharif. Be yourself, your best self, always competing against yourself and bettering yourself, and you will become a first rate YOU instead of a second rate somebody else.

10. Give. Finally, be a giver. Leaders are givers. By giving, you activate a universal law as sound as gravity life gives to the giver, and takes from the taker. The more you give, the more you get. If you want more love, respect, support, and compassion, give love, give respect, give support, and give compassion. Be a mentor to others. Give back to your community. As a leader, the only way to get what you want, is by helping enough people get what they want first. As Sir Winston Churchill once said, "We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."